The Elephant in the Room

When I see something I disagree with, what do I do?

Mostly just gnash my teeth in frustration, curse the object of my derision and decry that i have to be right.

However, outwardly, I maintain an air of neutrality and listen to and consider someone else's impassioned argument.

It is this I increasingly find missing in today's highly charged political atmosphere. A chance for one's views to be heard. And an assumption that if you don't agree with the elevation of a certain politician to PM candidate- you're behind the times, have secret Italian allegiance , or are a dynasty sycophant.

When I listen to people speak, or see innumerable facebook posts regarding Mr. Modi, two things leap to mind. 1) He certainly has an impassioned following, perhaps rightly earned. 2) These followers of his are hell bent on proving his legitimacy by assassinating the 'enemy's' character. While I certainly am no proponent of the ruling government- indeed it is a disgrace that they're still in power- I still believe in finding solutions. Not appropriating blame. It is impossible to hear a speech by Mr. Modi where there aren't sarcastic asides to Italian rule or double entendres about the government. This increasingly negative political dialogue seems to have seeped into everyone's psyche under the guise of nationalism. Unrealistic expectations from Mr. Modi are going to hurt all of us, he may not have the magic wand he professes to have- one wave and this country's misfortunes may not disappear.

It is a difficult balance though- we are a country that has been shamelessly taken for granted by the ruling party and government, all our money has been pocketed by scoundrels, we've been lectured about secularism when people are dying of hunger and we're privileged to a head of state as warm and accessible as a polar bear. Locked in their ivory towers, the ostrich power brokers see all and do nothing. But is the answer a man who does not brook criticism, whose methods are dictatorial, who doesn't seem to want anyone else's opinion?

Only time will tell. In the meantime is it too much to ask people to not dismiss those who disagree, to be respectful of others opinions? To not inundate social media and general conversation with the drool of their expectation, and to deal with the problems of today, not say that we need to pray to Nathuram Godse and thank him for what he did? This sort of behavior is crass, classless and as fascist as rumour would have it, a certain man is. A man, who, while I have great misgivings about- is apparently the only answer to the mess we're in today. I say 'answer' with more than an iota of question in my voice because historically, those who propose to have all the answers- lie. 

And yes, I do wish for days when people were more tolerant, actually genuinely considered others' opinions and weren't dismissive. Then I realise that these musings will probably be swept away amidst mass hysteria for a man who I hope, for his sake and ours, can really do what he claims. Because, unfortunately- we're in hell with no doctors.

What Women Want

Musicals are for women.



I believed that until I saw Sweeney Todd (the movie).



Absolutely bloody fucking brilliant.



From the writing to the music to Tim Burton's realization of the play- incredible.



And the fact that Helena was in it didn't hurt.



That got me thinking. Would the Indian ideal of a woman do the same? Would she lie and connive to keep the man she loved? Would she sleep with him all the time knowing he didn't love her? Would she aid him in murder? Would she love his child from another wife?



You know what- maybe she would.

For as the demon barber of Fleet Street sings-

Pretty Women..
At their mirrors-

In their gardens,
Letter writing,
Flower picking,
Weather watching-
How they make a man sing!
Proof of heaven, as you're living...



Someone tell me, WHERE ARE THESE WOMEN? We need them.


And the terrible part is, that we might have had them if we were born long long ago.

Take Draupadi- an enigma in the Mahabharata. Now of course, any mention of polyandry and you'll have the purists touching their ears and warding you away, lest your sussurations pollute their homes. Now she was, to my mind the first feminist. A woman of blazing beauty, (by all accounts) what continues to fascinate is the way she used her loins- for both good and ill. Oh yes, who are we kidding? Why did she go to the fateful game of dice in a 'single garment stained with blood'? She should have taken some Meftal Spaz and stayed at home. I propose that she had an inkling that her state would come in handy if the need arose. It did. And ultimately, the whole bloody (pun intended) war was fought because of one woman. And she knew it- perhaps even planned it. Ruthlessly planned it for power- under the garb of restoring her honour. It took 13 years, hundreds of deaths and the loss of her own sons, but she got there in the end.

And lets not even start about her relationship with Krishna- which, deny all you like, has always been more than a little ambiguous. That she worshipped him from afar seems obvious, but there is a fine line between worship and love (maybe even lust).


Yet, inspite of having five husbands and still trusting someone else more than any of them, Draupadi has always been considered a virtuous woman. Never as a politically savvy schemer. I'd even call her reformist.


And what makes it even more interesting is, that even if you look at the Mahabharata (as I do) as a great fictional epic and not gospel truth, the fact that a writer in those times- a man in all probability- could concieve of such a character and not turn her into a whore is really far sighted. That free thinking was so prevalent in ancient India makes one boil with wrath at the current state of affairs.




From those lofty times, are today's women worse off? It's hard to tell. Yes, inspite of those crazy fire spitting feminists (Good day Ms Roy) who quite frankly I think need a good romp in the sack with anybody, inspite of some men with inflated egos who, when their fiancee breaks it off say, 'You should marry me because I'm good at studies and you're an average student..'




Yet for all these people, there is a Sonia Gandhi- who, whether you agree with her politics or not, is an interesting case study. An Italian woman, meets the heir to the throne (rolls eyes in disgust), marries him and soon after his death becomes the most powerful politician in the world's biggest democracy. That's a real story. Or a certain Ms. Mayawati who uses all her evil genius and rules with impunity. Or even Sushmita Sen, who gets around and doesn't care what anybody thinks.

The position Indian women are in today- is strangely dichotomous. One the one hand you have some who can head a Biocon, and on the other you have those who equate a date with marriage instantly. The only reason we ask them out has got to be marriage. If you say you just want to get to know them better they reply, why not as friends?

It's this disparity between professional and social freedom that baffles.

And this is probably because the idea of marriage has been drilled into everyone's heads as the sole reason a girl exists. Even among educated society. Wanna date me? Marry me first.


The evolution of the Indian woman has been a little strange- from an emancipated personal life in ancient times, to wonderful professional opportunities nowadays. Long ago she could still sleep with the Sun God no less, have a child, remain a virgin, ditch the child, have no regrets or guilt, and then years later, blithely ask the same child not to kill her 'real' sons with absolutely no qualms whatsoever. She didn't get to rule, but she was the power behind the throne. Paradoxically, in modern times, our women are given a lot of freedom to pursue careers (more or less). But personal morality is of paramount importance. She has to be 'pure'. She shouldn't wear short skirts even to play tennis. She shouldn't hang out in pubs. She should be 'perfect' and should be married by 25, otherwise she's deemed 'too old'. It's different for us menfolk, we can fuck who we want and get away with it but somehow an Indian woman's virginity is of paramount importance. As to why, that's beyond me. Is it objectification of women? Maybe. I mean YES! It's just crass and low.

That being said, I think I'm gonna dump my girl tonight- her forehead's too wide, one nostril is wider than the other and I didn't like the location of her tattoo.